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Small children are so vulnerable that new parents will suddenly find the world a much more frightening place. We can’t keep our kids in a bubble, though. Even with constant supervision, there’s no way to protect children from everything. But working hard to teach them how to make the right decisions and to have safe habits will help a lot.
When should you begin teaching your child about safety? As soon as possible, usually when the baby starts crawling. Some of this is obvious, of course. We teach our children not to touch the hot stove, unprotected electrical equipment, and stay away from other hazards. Childproofing equipment is essential, but it’s important to teach about the dangers anyway because they may encounter unprotected hazards at any time. For example, even if you usually keep a gate at the top of the stairs, it’s a good idea to teach your child how to get down the stairs safely as soon as they’re physically capable – just in case it’s left open by accident.
During the toddler years, discipline should focus on activities that may cause injury. Examples include a child’s attempts to get out of his carseat, running away from a parent on the street or in a store, crossing a street without permission, or climbing inappropriately. The best response in most cases is to remove them from the situation, follow with an appropriate action, and rather than showing anger, show the child how much his behavior frightens you. This will avoid a battle of wills, express to the child that you’re sincere, and transfer some of your anxiety over a dangerous situation to him. After all, there’s nothing wrong with being afraid where fear is appropriate.
When your child is capable of understanding, repeating, and following rules (around three or four years of age) and may encounter situations without direct supervision, it’s time to start drilling him on safety rules. Make sure he knows never to open an outside door without permission, never to answer the door himself. He should know his first and last name, his parents’ first and last names, and the name of the street where he lives. He should learn what to do if he ever becomes separated from his parents or caregiver – stay near the point where he became lost, and seek help from a “grandma” or a “mommy with kids.” Teach your child never to “hide” in stores, nor leave an area without permission.
Start quizzing your child on what he would do in certain situations. For example, what would he do if he were in the park when a man asked him to help look for his lost dog? What if he were at school and a stranger appeared and said his mommy sent him to drive your child home? A friend of mine taught her son only to leave with people who knew the “password” and asked a friend her son had never met to come and test him to see what he’d do. This is a great idea, because even children who have been thoroughly drilled on safety often forget the rules when a stranger offers ice cream or says “come see my puppy!” These tests can be quite enlightening.
The preschool years are a good time to start teaching about fire safety as well. Some will learn this in daycare or preschool classes, but the lesson should be repeated often. Take your child to the neighborhood fire station to show him the equipment that is used, and ask the firemen about programs for young children. They need to see what a fireman looks like in all of his gear, so they won’t be as frightened if they encounter one attempting to rescue them. Teach them never to hide from the fire, to feel doors and knobs to see if they’re hot, and form an escape plan for different situations. Home fire drills are a great idea too.
It’s never too early to start teaching your child about how to stay safe. Even the most careful adult supervision will only go so far, and you must be careful not to shelter your child too much from danger instead of teaching them how to avoid it. Inevitably, a situation will occur that requires your child to make the right decision. Communicating your fears and increasing your child’s anxiety level over dangerous situations can help in battles to maintain safety even at a very young age.
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